No where to go and could do with some you time? 30 min nap maximum. Somewhere to go and can’t be late? Longest nap EVER!!

Sod’s law states the day before your child starts nursery or before a vital appointment you can’t miss your sleep terrorist will get a D&V bug and have to stay home

Oh that teething thing I previously mentioned it gets worse and we’re only a fraction of the way in…

Necklaces and earrings? Yeah just don’t wear them…!

Do you know all those lovely toys you bought? Yep your sleep terrorist won’t care for those, they are boring. On the otherhand do you know all those lovely things you own? Yep those are now the most desireable objects going and will be manhandled, destroyed, chewed and slobbered on in equal measure. Say goodbye to nice things now. 

Once your sleep terrorist is to a degree mobile on the rare occasion they do sleep they will move around postitioning themselves in their cot with their head against a side, thus ensuring when they roll in their sleep they will hit their head and wake themselves and of course you up. Feel free to reposition them to the middle or any alternative sensible sleeping position but it will not last. 

Whether you like it or not you will develop a need/desire to just stand and watch your very own sleep terrorist sleep. This of course means they win yet again, as by watching them sleep you in turn are not sleeping yourself!

A warning though do not, I repeat DO NOT even consider kissing or stroking their heads, as no matter how deep a sleep or how light your touch you will wake them up. Don’t say I didn’t warn you. 

I need to get this out, I apologise now as I’m about to ostracise the majority of the (2?!) people that read this blog. ‘Hun’, what is it with this non word? I’m not called Attila therefore I’m not called Hun. Do you mean ‘honey’ and therefore ‘hon’? If so, sorry I’m not your hon either. The only person that would have right to call me that is my husband but I think he knows better than to use it!! 

The use of ‘hun’ is driving me crazy, I mostly have to keep my mouth shut as it could lose me clients, but every time I hear someone say it or I read it onl me I scream and die a little inside. 

However tortuous I find ‘mum groups’ (they are sheer hell) they do have benefits. Firstly they get you out of the house, and secondly the sleep terrorist seems to love them. Nothing seemingly puts a bigger smile on her face than having another sleep terrorist to play with or even just look at. I’m pretty convinced though this is where she picks up new ideas for torture to inflict on me. 

Why do parents feel they have the monopoly on being sleep deprived? We don’t, and that comes from me whilst very much dying for a good night’s kip! Yes many of us are and will be for some time but many others who are child free are as well and potentially worse so if suffering from a medical condition. So stop claiming sole rights to the twilight hours!!